Complaint Department
Jun 26, 2010 by
DaveC
I dont like people in grocery stores that get their filthy hands all over the produce that I am about to buy. You know, the ones who stand in front of the green beans and apparently have the time to examine every single bean that they put in their bean bag. Come on now people, let's get with it, I dont have the time and patience for that kind of stuff. And another thing, Dont Eat The Store's Food Until You Pay For It.
It has only gotten worse what with all these furriner types clogging the aisles. A few months ago there was this big lady in a fur coat that blocked the entire aisle while she picked up and put back 40 to 50 beets. BEETS! For chrissake lady, beets are basically purple colored balls of dirt with dirt covering the outside of them! Be a fucking AMERICAN for crying out loud, and get your beets from a can like God intended for us to do, and then move on and get out of everybody's way.
And for the people who are buying eggs, here is the protocol: Open the carton. Eggs not cracked? Then put them in your cart.
Dont open three cartons of eggs and swap the eggs around until you think that you have one carton of the most wonderful, perfect eggs ever created. Here, let me lick that for you. Unsatisfactory? OK I'll put it back on the shelf.
This is your open thread.
Comments
Jun 27, 2010, 02:36:14 John Thullen wrote:
Here's what I hate:
I hate the guy doing the shopping who parks his cart in front of the canned tomatoes and calls his wife on his cell phone and for ten minutes or so has a lengthy discussion (roughly as detailed as the old SALT talks) about which fucking can of tomatoes to buy.
"But they have the 10 oz can of crushed ones with basil ... what? .... what about garlic ... well, they have garlic with the diced tomatoes but that has thyme in it and its a 24 oz can .... I don't like plain .... I know you don't mind plain ...."
Hey, buddy, may I lean in and get my 16 oz can of whole tomatoes with the basil, just like its written here on my shopping list?
And another thing, if you don't mind me interrupting your conversation with the wife ... ya know, the Soviet Union fell so they could have grocery stores just like this and waste half their fucking lives deciding which fucking can of tomatoes to buy because they now have too many fucking choices, instead of the old way where, yes, they wasted their lives standing in line for ONE fucking can of tomatoes, plain with no sauce, and there isn't a basil plant this side of Hungary, but they were able to get a little reading done, maybe some Chekhov .... and then when the one can was snatched off the shelf by the first Cossack through the door, they went to the beet section, grabbed a bag of beets and went the fuck back to the shetl or wherever the fuck they lived and they were happy to have the beets, unpalpated, slightly moldy, but with good Russian soil caked all over them.
So now I buy my tomatoes and garlic and basil in the fresh food section, and just after I finish choosing which tomatoes will make the best sauce, I shoot a glance at Dave C. waiting behind me, tapping his foot, steam coming out of his ears, and I turn back to the fresh produce and sneeze like a rhinocerous, a big juicy sneeze, a sneeze that could end a friendship.
Jun 27, 2010, 04:00:18 DaveC wrote:
Thullen, I sense that you are an angry, UnAmerican egg-swapper, but I pity you more than hate you, so you can see I'm being quite generous.
Jun 27, 2010, 06:45:50 nous wrote:
I'm one of those people that pick over produce and eggs and bags my own groceries. I've been doing it now for 15 years because grocery stores' service has gone to hell in the name of low prices.
My first real job when I was 16 was at a little independent grocery store with 5 aisles. Costs were a little higher but the vegetables were fresh and were put out closer to ripe. The meat was fresh cut. The ground meat was ground in store. The sausage was mixed there. We went over every carton of eggs ourselves ahead of time to get rid of the cracked ones (you gotta lift them because they crack on the bottoms sometimes and stick to the carton). We rotated all the dairy stock whenever new came in to make sure that it didn't go bad. And I spent the first week up front being trained in how to bag groceries so that they were easy to carry and didn't thaw and kept the smelly non-food items away from the food items that would pick up the smell. We used fewer bags, too.
Haven't seen a store like that in years. Damn straight I pick over my stuff. If I put it back it should not have been out in the first place.
Jun 28, 2010, 03:37:56 John Thullen wrote:
I like to open the carton of eggs and juggle three of them. If I drop one, I scoop it up put it back in the carton and move on to another carton until I find one without cracked eggs.
Now, in the fresh tomato section (this works with avocados as well) I throw the tomato against the nearest wall. If it bounces back fully intact like a handball, I put it back. If the tomato splatters against the wall, I bag it and I'm on my way.
If I'm in a hurry, I take a bite out of the tomato to judge its suitability.
Sometimes, the single vegetable or fruit I judge to be ripe and tasty, is at the bottom of the pyramid. In this case I gently snatch the desired piece of fruit out from under, causing a cascade of rolling, bouncing fresh produce across the floor. While the other shoppers jump up and down and swear, I make a quick getaway to the checkout counter.
Jun 28, 2010, 03:59:08 John Thullen wrote:
Anudda ting, I always carry my trusty bow and alatle (slung over my back) with me (it's always in the back seat of the half-track) to the grocery store.
I sneak up on, say, a head of arugula or an unsuspecting 3-pound broiler and I spear my dinner. I then tuck and roll, release some smoke bombs. and sprint zigzagging into the parking lot.
Jun 28, 2010, 03:59:16 DaveC wrote:
Getting the plum from the bottom of the produce ski-slope is both perilous, and (it goes without saying) for the "little people". The Tony Robbins grocery shopping seminar method "REACH FOR THE TOP!" generally works, but sometimes there are accidents. With a little luck there are small children around that I can look at disapprovingly and shake my head.
Jun 29, 2010, 02:48:04 russell wrote:
What I want to know is what the freaking issue is in the state of Massachusetts with using a directional signal.
You would think every car in the commonwealth was wired to explode if the directional signal was used.
I've lived in NY, Philly, and the Boston area. I've been to lots of other places and driven in most of them.
Boston has the crappiest, most aggressively what-me-worry, I-don't-give-a-flying-fuck drivers of anyplace I've ever been.
Jun 29, 2010, 02:49:09 russell wrote:
I mean, NYC cabbies drive really fast, but they stay in their own damned lane.
And they use their directional signals.
Thank you for this opportunity to vent.
Jun 29, 2010, 02:53:35 russell wrote:
[blockquote]grocery stores' service has gone to hell in the name of low prices.[/blockquote]
Here is my snapshot economic history of the US over the last 50 years:
Nobody wants to actually be good at, or even really do, the thing that they get paid for anymore. If they can completely outsource the whole thing, they will. If they can find a way to rationalize the whole thing so that they can train a monkey to sort of almost do it, even if the result is a total piece of crap, they will.
What they will not delegate to anyone else is cashing the check.
Jun 29, 2010, 02:54:17 russell wrote:
God I hate BBCode.
OK, back to work.
Jun 29, 2010, 03:44:15 nous wrote:
Since this is an open thread and I'm a big fan of un-American, socialist sports...
I poked around the World Cup stats a bit at the FIFA site and found that Bradley, Donovan, and Dempsey are all in the top 5 for distance covered during this tournament. Bradley tops it out with 50+km. It's a bit misleading since the US v. Ghana went into extra time and that gives them more minutes than the rest. Ghana features heavily in that top 10 as well. Still, it says a lot about how the team plays, and the US covers a lot of ground during their games.
The surprise for me on this, though, is that when you look only at distance covered while in possession of the ball it shifts and Khedira of Germany goes top and Schweinsteiger moves into the top 5 as well. And when you look at passing you find that the US is nowhere in the top and that Schweinsteiger and Lahm of Germany top out the list both for passes attempted and passes completed with more than 80% of those passes reaching their intended target. Bradley is down the list a ways and made just over 70% of his passes. Donovan is farther down the list and made just over 60% of his.
The US worked hard this Cup, but they covered more ground on their own with the ball at their feet than did the Germans. The Germans covered a lot of ground, too, but when they came under pressure they were able to find the open man and pass. That control and mutual support is the biggest difference and it is why Germany is still in it while the US is out.
England, meanwhile, seem to be close to Germany in all their stats, but comparing the team stats England spent more time on the attack than Germany but they had more shots and more balls delivered into the penalty area but fewer assists and fewer solo runs. Which means that they were not combining well on the attack and were getting turned away whenever they got close. Germany did not deliver many balls into the penalty area, yet they still had more assists and more runs and more goals, which means, again, that they were combining more dangerously and working as a team.
Last note from stat land...Germany v. Argentina looks to be a massive game in terms of possession. If Germany hopes to advance they will need to run more than Argentina because they are pretty evenly matched for the passing game. Both teams are a bit soft on defense, however, so it could get really interesting seeing which defense cracks first.
Jun 29, 2010, 13:30:21 JanieM wrote:
Just back from two weeks with the extended family in Ohio. I have been making that trip by car anywhere from one to six times a year (on average, closer to one than six) for the past 15+ years, ever since I decided I didn't want to pay for 3 plane tickets (me and my 2 kids) every time. I actually like the drive in a way; it's a sort of meditation time, especially now that the kids are grown up and I am making the trip alone.
Following on Russell's comments about Boston drivers -- which I second, with vehemence -- I also think that New England drivers in general (or at least Massachusetts and northward) are crappier, more aggressive, and less courteous than drivers further west.
I avoid the Interstate when I can make anything like reasonable time off it, so when I go to Ohio I head away from home (central Maine) across the countryside to Rochester NH, across NH and Vermont on Route 202 -> 9, around Albany to either I-90 or I-86 across NY, and sometimes US 6 across the western half of northern PA.
Almost like magic, as soon as I cross the VT->NY border going west, the tailgating stops. People don't madly weave back and forth on the interstate. People use (yes) their turn signals. They let you cut in if you've made a mistake about what lane you're supposed to be in. (Ruthless nastiness about that is another thing I hate about Boston drivers. If you don't live there and don't know what lane you're supposed to be in for the next turn you have to make, you're toast.)
The most orderly driving on the Ohio trip is on the interstates in New York State. Parts of PA can be bad, almost New England-like.
As an exception to the New England patterns, I was recently in New Haven (after a gap of oh, 35 years or so) and found that even though traffic is almost at gridlock levels (between overloaded streets and construction blockages), people are actually patient and courteous, especially about lane changes!
*****
At the beginning of this trip I got disgusted with the domination of threads at Obsidian Wings by BS and people responding to BS as if it deserved a response. (I.e. what I consider to be trollery and near-trollery dominating threads.) Break time....
Jun 29, 2010, 20:23:47 libjpn wrote:
Hi all, thanks DaveC for the open thread. Like JanieM, I'm feeling that the mothership is in a bit of a rut. I thought it was pretty rich when Sebastian observed that it was only conservatives who were arguing with bobbyp as if this revealed some home truth about liberals especially after I specifically asked bobbyp to cool it. The occlusion involved here seems irreversible.
Jun 30, 2010, 00:07:46 JanieM wrote:
Random addenda:
1. I'm not a soccer fan...I watched my kids play the game for several years and never did get the rules straight.
But I was and still am something of a basketball fan -- helped coach girls 8-11 years old when my daughter was little, got unhealthily embroiled in kids' sports (both boys and girls) for ten years or so, and then finally returned to some pretense of sanity when my kids had had enough.
My single simple overvast generalization about sports in the US is that kids are allowed, in fact more or less encouraged, to be selfish and not to be team players. (Yes, there are exceptions. I said it was an overvast generalization.)
My daughter's high school basketball team was the best ever at their school. They made the state tournament for the first time in history, and the following year they even advanced a couple of rounds. Once when they were playing a perennially bottom-dwelling team, the coach decided that for that game he would make a rule: no shooting until three passes had been made on a given possession. The point was to try to get them playing more as a team, looking for each other, etc.
Except that the big star of the team -- who should have been a shooting guard but had been since infancy a point guard, the better to have the ball in her hands all the time so she wouldn't have to wait for anything whatsoever before she could shoot -- de facto didn't have to follow the rule. That is, she [i]didn't[/i] follow the rule, and the coach didn't tell her to.
Idiots.
This may or may not be relevant to nous's observations about soccer. ;)
(And as I say, I was not sane about it. Guess whose kid I thought should have been the point guard? Sigh. But there is a rich and wonderful world outside kids' sports, and my kids finally decided to try it out. That of course made them "quitters." Thank goodness. That old "wisdom to know the difference" can be lifesaving.)
2. When I decided to quit commenting at ObWi, and do no more than an occasional skim as far as reading goes, there were several threads running in which Jay Jerome had returned (I stopped reading his comments ages ago, but people keep answering him, so then I don't bother to read those comments either...), Brett and Sebastian were at their worst, Marty was at his even worse worst (I don't read him any more either), and goodoldboy was chiming in now and then.
Then, as at least lj will remember, McKinney wrote something apparently very nasty about Eric and others, and I responded (hastily; Eric gave McK the benefit of the doubt and I do agree that he deserved it), and then looked at myself and said: time to stop.
I have tried for a long time to give Seb the benefit of the doubt. But I think if we could tally the number of times people have conceded other people's points at ObWi, Seb would be at or near the bottom of the list, and if we could tally the number of times people have coldly and patronizing told other people that they have misinterpreted something, Seb would be near the top. Seb comes off as reasonable at first, but the goal-post shifting and the cold condescencion undercut the appearance of reasonableness after a while.
Hilzoy showed up in comments in a couple of places where I was browsing recently. Sigh again.
Jun 30, 2010, 01:54:44 libjpn wrote:
Japan loses on penalties. Oh, the agony.
Jun 30, 2010, 02:23:15 nous wrote:
I feel bad for Japan. They made a good showing in the group stage. I was hoping they would make it through in order to give the AFC something more come qualifying next time. CONMEBOL already had three in the quarterfinals and they only have 10 members to start. South America is quite well represented and they already get an automatic berth next time with Brazil as host.
Jun 30, 2010, 03:56:16 Ugh wrote:
Yay, open thread!
Supermarkets: paying with checks should be banned; they should enforce the 15 (or 12 or whatever) item limit in the express lanes via caning; can the coffee selection be the same when I go as when my wife is there, please?
Driving: Just because you're passing someone at 1 inch every five minutes on cruise control does not mean you are, in fact, properly using the left lane.
Attention DC Cabbies: PICK. A. LANE!
I'm sure there are other things that need complaining about.
Jun 30, 2010, 03:58:35 Ugh wrote:
On the World Cup: Why does anyone from outside of Europe and South America participate in this thing again? I mean, no one from any other continent has ever even finished second (and vanishingly few 3rd or 4th)!
Jun 30, 2010, 04:15:04 JanieM wrote:
"I'm sure there are other things that need complaining about."
No doubt. But thanks for the reminder that complaining should be limited to some quota and enforced with caning. I'm approaching that limit and will try to say something more cheerful next time. ;)
Jun 30, 2010, 06:42:43 russell wrote:
[i]Supermarkets: paying with checks should be banned[/i]
Yes, please. Or, at least, pay by check should have its own lane.
One last thing about driving in boston that strikes me as unbelievably perverse:
Street signs are only for cross streets. So, if you're driving down a sort-of-main street, there will be signs for the streets you intersect, but not for the street you are on.
Because if you don't know what street you're on, you're obviously a clueless git to begin with. Obviously.
"Not from here, are you?"
It's the Boston way.
Jun 30, 2010, 09:12:27 nous wrote:
russell...@ teh kitteh:
"I spend too much time with jazz musicians, whenever I hear an obscenity I think something really good just happened."
...made me lol. Classic and tag-worthy.
I regularly swear at the driving out here -- out here being L.A. Metro. People talk about fast and slow lanes like such things exist in other places. In LA the leftmost lanes are often the slowest because the most cautious drivers get into them in order to avoid the constant flow of merging traffic as one 8 lane freeway dumps into another.
Despite this, I think that the SoCal drivers are actually pretty good, considering that there are more people on the freeway at any time than live in most cities in the rest of the country and that the speed on the big freeways hovers near 80 in the uncongested places and times.
Jul 02, 2010, 02:04:39 russell wrote:
I'm glad that gave you a laugh, nous.
I freelance as a drummer. Some (sadly too few) of my gigs are jazz gigs, and I've also studied with jazz players here in Boston. So I sometimes hang with jazz guys. It's a unique world.
Oftentimes when I'm at work I have to remember that appropriate responses to news like "our sales numbers are up this quarter!" do not include "f**k you!" or "now that's the real sh*t!".
My wife tolerates these kinds of outbursts, but not if we have company.
Jul 03, 2010, 00:55:50 Slartibartfast wrote:
1) Cell phone conversations while driving should be minimal and, by law, contstrained to less than 15 seconds. I loathe people who drive for miles while aimlessly chatting on the phone. I'm tempted to proactively drive as is I weren't paying attention to what I'm doing when around people like that. Really, it should be a free hit, and their insurance pays.
2) And what is it with the cellphone talkers who are so into their conversation that they discover too late that they're supposed to turn left here, but instead are in the right traffic lane? Why on earth do some bozos correct their own fucking mistake and expect to do it on my time?
3) And this isn't just the cellphone jabberers, either. Miss your exit? Don't jam on the fucking brakes 100 yards past the ramp, swerve over to the shoulder, and back up frantically, while causing all kinds of traffic problems while people get the hell away from the maniac who doesn't get that there's another exit a mile down the road; why not take that one and turn around?
4) Oh. It's that on-my-time thing, again.
5) I'm not so much dead-set against the check writers as I am dead-set against the check writers who don't realize they've got a check to write until all of their groceries have been rung up and totalled. Those people should be waterboarded mercilessly. Which is ok, because there's nothing in particular I want to find out from them.
6) Likewise, I'm not so much against folks paying cash with exact change as I am quite annoyed by the guy who, once he's payed a few bucks and change less than he owes, then takes out one of those rubber coin purses and spends the next five minutes going through its contents, one coin at a time. Look, a wheat penny! When's the last time you saw one of those?
7) I also understand that some people are short on cash, especially nowadays. But really, who can't mentally estimate the value of their groceries as they're putting them in their cart, instead of having the cashier ring them up one at a time so they can spend some quality time deciding whether to keep the bag of rice or the jar of Kraft marshmallow creme? I know who. It's the person who always seems to be right in front of me at the checkout line.
8) Stop driving up my ass. There's someone whose ass I'm driving up, and they're not moving over. Jerk.
9) Your kids are behaving as if they were raised by wolves. Please exercise some discipline with them or I'm going to have to get the garden hose.
10) Really: slower traffic keep right. It's not your job to ensure that everyone obeys the speed limit. I'm being nice and patient, waiting for you to pass that guy who's got his cruise control set at the speed limit with your cruise control set at the speed limit, but this kind of thing gives some folks serious road rage.
11) Really, you can go right on red in most states (like this one) unless where otherwise posted. That sign that says "Stop here on red" doesn't mean that you have to stay stopped here. GO, for crying out loud.
12) Even dozen: please pull over for the fucking emergency vehicle. I can't tell you how many times I pull completely off the road, where possible, and I'm passed by a half-dozen clueless people who are being frantically tailgated by an ambulance. It's the law, and it shouldn't even have to be.
/Grumpyoldman
Jul 03, 2010, 01:00:07 Slartibartfast wrote:
Oh, baker's dozen:
13) The people who go to Costco just to eat the free samples I don't have so much of a problem with, provided that they get the fuck out of the way of people doing actual shopping. But most of them could stand to do without that free sample, as well as thousands of others just like it. Alas, the free food zone is usually crammed with overweight people, standing right out in the middle of traffic chewing something or other, and talking to each other about how good it is.
Get. Out. Of. My. Way.
Jul 03, 2010, 02:06:23 Ugh wrote:
More (which I think I've posted at ObWi before):
People in front of me in line at McDonalds: You have been here before, my guess by the looks of you hundreds of times, you should know what you want by the time you get to the cash register, it ain't that damn hard. Also, the diet coke with the supersize value menu is not doing what you think it is.
Mr. tail-gater: All of a sudden I have the urge to drive 5MPH below the speed limit, but suddenly speed up at attempts to pass. Funny that.
Remove your items from the overhead bin BEFORE the person in front of you starts walking off the plane, ASSHOLE! Also, if you can't lift your carry-on above your head, CHECK IT! And use your armrests to help you get out of your seat, not the back of mine.
Jul 03, 2010, 02:34:31 Slartibartfast wrote:
I'm done counting, because there are probably going to be a lot more.
It's "missile", not "missle". People who are in the business of building missiles, in particular, please take note.
Jul 03, 2010, 04:41:14 Slartibartfast wrote:
That no left turn sign outside the supermarket? It's not just for decoration. Don't make me wait for you to find a left turn opening. It's going to be a while, trust me. I know. I'm counting every second.
Especially don't ignore the sign if you work at the store, dimwit. You didn't think anyone would recognize you, right?
Jul 03, 2010, 05:02:21 Ugh wrote:
Better to just leave that left turn signal off and make me think you don't know it's there or don't know how to use it than to turn it on in the middle of the intersection after sitting through a full redlight with me sitting behind you, which tells me that you're either entirely incompetent to operate a car or a giant freaking asshole. Or both.
Also, that gym equipment is for lifting heavy things up and then putting them down, not a place for you to sit and rest your fat ass while you talk to your friend about what you did at the bar last night. And mop up that sweath when you're done, Mr. Oilslick.
Jul 03, 2010, 11:25:23 russell wrote:
[i]rubber coin purses[/i]
Seriously, that is all I need to hear.
AAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
The horror.
No offense to anyone here who might actually own and use a rubber coin purse, but not in the grocery line, please.
Jul 03, 2010, 12:13:55 JanieM wrote:
Along with the coin purses and the checks, I would add credit and debit cards. I've been slowed down a lot more often, and for longer, by malfunctioning cards or card readers than by checks or coin purses.
What the heck is the matter with cash on the barrelhead? (Okay, not coins.)
Harrumph.
Jul 03, 2010, 13:55:46 JakeB wrote:
As a non car-owner, I take it upon myself to lay a hideous curse upon all those people whose view of car-passenger interactions is solely might makes right. Even though I'm old enough to know better, I can't help thumping a car when I'm using a crosswalk on the walk signal and it drives around me close enough for me to touch it -- or even worse, when I have to jump out of the way. I continue to be naive -- I still can't believe how indignant people become when I'm not sufficiently grateful for them not running me down when I cross the street following the traffic laws.
Jul 07, 2010, 01:23:15 russell wrote:
"I'm walking here!!"
Hope everyone had a great fourth! Mine was family, hot dogs, watermelon, and harmless colorful explosions.
Nice.
Jul 08, 2010, 09:31:07 JakeB wrote:
Likewise. We made food for 6 but only had 4 . . . a large quantity of gourmet sausages, spareribs, german potato salad, cornbread, and grilled asparagus, not to mention some tasty and expensive zinfandel, were consumed. Then my brother and I followed July 4th tradition and watched _National Treasure_ again. Most satisfying, except for the Monday hangover.
Jul 08, 2010, 11:48:29 DaveC wrote:
Very long driving weekend.
Headed up north.
Listened to " From Here to Infinity"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...
Stopped for cheese ( smoked string cheese and fresh cheese curds)
http://www.kugelscheese.com/
Was going to attend insane crazy fireworks (pre-official fireworks bedlam)l
http://www.mastodontownship...
but was steadily raining and got soaked before setting up camp.
Said "I give up, lets go to Houghton", (home of Michigan Tech) found a little old motel.
http://local.yahoo.com/info...
At Houghton was informed that there were no fireworks, they were used up at Bridge Fest.
http://www.cityofhancock.co...
Sat on the Downtowner Lounge and looked at the bridge (major entertainment up there, you could also go to BridgeView Park.)
Because it is in the Eastern Time, it was light out until 10:30 at night.
Some good folks gave a pretty good front yard fireworks display across the way in Hancock from about 11 - 11:30.
Drove up to end of US 41 (10 miles in length) north of Copper Harbor MI, problems with with attempting to hike in flip-flops.
Decided to take the scenic drive back.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wik...
Sleepy, so stopped off at roadside park for a little hike (flip-flop accesible).
http://gowaterfalling.com/w...
Back at campsite, torrential rains resumed immediately, so headed home.
On the way back, in Coleman, WI, bought Schells beer, which is not sold in Illinois.
http://www.schellsbrewery.c...
Jul 09, 2010, 04:42:29 nous wrote:
We visited Sequoia and Kings Canyon for the first time. Awesome!
Drove back on the 4th to avoid the traffic on the 5th. Hit the LA basin just as the firework shows were starting. We got to see a half hour of fireworks spread out at 5 mile intervals on all sides of the freeway.
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